Rebecca takes full responsibility

By EVAN GAHR

Bubbie, Rebecca's maternal grandmother, notices everything.

Last month, the former elementary school teacher saw that her infant grandson's ear was quite red.

She asked  David's  sister Rebecca, two years his senior, why his ear wasred.

"Because I bit it," Rebecca said proudly.

Later, she confided to Uncle Bertram that "it tasted good."

Clearly, Rebecca, , is way too honest to ever be a politician. Otherwise, these kind of cagey responses might have followed.

"I'm not sure his ear is red, Bubbie."

Non-denial denial: I am always well-fed so I wouldn't have been hungry enough to want to bite his ear.

Plausible deniability: How could I have bitten the ear if Lorna, the nanny, keeps such a close watch over both of us?

Play the children's card: The question is an insult to all Todler-Americans who already bear the yoke of unsubstantiated allegations, including most notoriously Toilet profiling in which every time a foul smell is discovered in the house it is attributed to us failing to make it the potty in time rather than an adult who shirked his duty to take out the garbarge with all deliberate speed. I won't dignify your question with a reply.

Blame Society: In a country where perhaps its most famouse city has adopted the slogan "take a bite out of the Big Apple" would really be surprising if a child would follow suit and nibble on her baby brother's ear?